JANUARY 2025 - Fires, Ice, Fears and Fruition

It was always going to be an unforgettable start to the new year since I planned to move into my double decker bus - which I'd been converting for the whole of 2024.

A number of circumstances had colluded, as they so often have an uncanny way of doing, and I'd been guided to take the plunge, despite the project being incomplete and ongoing.

So the first weekend of January I moved in. And we had snow fall that very night. That occurrence really should have established how it was going to go down. I have a deep trust that everything happens exactly as it should and I recognise the universe often sends tests my way to teach me lessons and strengthen my skills for the next chapter.

Since I currently only have a log stove as any form of heating, this was an immediate challenge. Although, I am not a stranger to challenges, and nor am I shy of them. So I reassured those around me I would cope one way and another - which I did. From layering up to hot water bottles it was uncomfortable, but I was, as I knew I would be, OK.

Monday arrived, my second full day of bus life, and with it an unexpected day off from work. A good surprise. I planned to spend the time continuing to unpack boxes and settle myself in to these new surroundings. I was beside myself with glee, relishing in a delicious sense of accomplishment and freedom, even if I did have numb fingers and toes from the cold! The fire was going and despite its heat doing nothing for the chill upstairs, loitering within its vicinity provided welcome relief when I needed it.

Around 11am I glanced out of an upstairs window and did a double take.

Why can I see the windows of the building opposite me reflected in the carpark?

Something just struck me as odd and I pulled back the voile curtain to investigate further.

What the...

Another unexpected turn of events.

Half the car park was under water!

A bad surprise. A very bad surprise.

My mouth immediately went dry and my heart began to race.

I could see the water level was rising before my very eyes and it was lapping at my wheels by the time I got downstairs and peered out of the doors. I knew the river down the way often burst its banks and flooded the surrounding fields, sometimes on really severe occasions it flooded the road leading to where I was parked. I knew how much the river would have to rise to cause this and it made me feel dizzy with fear. What was going on? It felt apocalyptic. It wasn't even raining and hadn't been since the early hours. The rapidly rising water felt eerie and threatening.

Only a few months ago I shared my deepest phobia on podcast episode number 72 - floods.

My very worst nightmare was unfolding and the craziest thing was feeling totally alone to face it.

I had to act and I had to act fast. I had to move the bus.

That meant entering the flood water to connect up the battery.

Just this act made me feel sick with terror.

But, shaking like a leaf, I found myself sat in the driver's seat and fleeing to the other side of the carpark where there was a dry island of concrete.

As it happened, Leicestershire experienced a major incident that day which displaced hundreds of people as floods consumed whole residential areas.

The event was utterly terrifying, yet I was left feeling super grateful because other than being shaken, my property and I was OK.

That evening, I watched the most gorgeous sunset and reflected on how I'd overcome something I'd surely felt I could never cope with.

I felt proud and capable. I'd yet again succeeded.

Following the floods receding and returning my bus to its original spot (completing the most perfect parallel park which left both me and an onlooker gobsmacked) temperatures really plummeted over the next few nights, reaching minus 6.

Life on the bus was now really freezing. Literally. There were frost patterns above my bed. My tea even froze in its cup, as did every liquid-holding vessel. I existed in thermals under thick, fluffy pjs and kept a hat on my head permanently, day and night - my hair transforming into a matted mop.

During that week, I was also part of a clean up team at work because our building got totally flooded out too. It was an exhausting time with emotions running high. Everyone had lost a lot and everyone was trying to stay positive and remember that in comparison to some, they'd got off lightly.

I still couldn't shake the feeling that the floods were to push me into facing my worst fears, and realising I could overcome anything put in my path.

One night I ventured outside and my car was covered in the most beautiful ice formations. As I admired the feathery patterns I was filled with a most significant feeling of awe and connection to the natural world and even to the invisible realms we do not fully understand.

As I already mentioned, I have a trusting relationship with the unseen forces of the universe and I felt very much like my spirit guides were giving me a reassuring sign. Feathers are something I associate with my guides being close.

A couple of evenings later I arrived back to the bus to find a bonfire had been left to burnout in the yard. I decided to take advantage of the aesthetics and take some photos whilst dancing around it.

The moon was almost full and it felt like the perfect opportunity to connect both to its ripe energy plus another of the elements. I'd already dealt with water and ice and the flames summed up my feelings of vitality.

Dancing around that fire that night I felt unrecognisable in my strength and spirituality.

I've spent my life taking risks - leaping toward my dreams and having faith in the outcome. The outcome is sometimes not as I planned or imagined but it's often better and it always leads me on a journey of necessary growth and development.

So this January I have overcome my deepest, darkest fear of floods.

And accomplished my dream of living in a bus. Although it's now apparent this is not the ultimate event - the final point - but rather the beginning of a whole new stage of learnings and evolution.

Development has been demanded and at a rate more rapid than I've experienced ever before.

If you're feeling like you're being tested, then you probably are.

Please know you have everything you need within you to thrive, you're way more capable than you realise and the darkness never lasts.

Let's see what February has to offer!

You can follow my vlog journey on TikTok: LindziADHD and YouTube: Lindzi A Different Human Design

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