MAY 2025 - Sober Feels, Mental Health & Blooming Dreams

The plan for 2025 was to write a blog each month.

January, I did it. Yay.

In February, I had an operation on my foot which meant an estimated 4 weeks of forced bed rest, so surely I'd have plenty of opportunity to create the article, right? I even knew what I was going to talk about - the importance of downtime, rest, recovery and all that came with it. Pah!

It's now May. Have I rested? Have I had any downtime?

I've still not written that blog article.

Or one for March, or for April.

But, I'm not mad at myself.

Maybe the downtime is on its way...

(Laughs manically)

I'm actually mildly amused at the amount I take on with a somewhat insane belief of completing it all.

Sitting here though, mulling over what I've done this year already, my projects and aims, I am totally grateful for whatever I owe this part of myself.

The part of me that says, this is what I want, nothing can stop me, I can do this.

I've applied myself to tackling a whole variety of things, from fitness challenges to solo travel, in March I did a naked catwalk as part of an art exhibition called Unapologetic, but I've done a few things specifically that have caught the imagination of many.

First, I quit alcohol. Now, if you're thinking that's not a big deal, lucky you. I was a party girl and you would never have expected me to do it. I never expected it. Nobody is more astounded that I'm in my third year of not drinking, than me.

Next, I bought a double decker bus to convert into my home and a moving library. This was always a dream of mine.

Then, I quit nicotine. Now, let me tell you, this one shocked me more than quitting booze - but it only happened because I'd quit the booze.

Drinking, drugs, smoking and vaping are prolific habits amongst my broader social circle, so my actions caused wide-spread ripples that I get to glimpse through certain conversations.

It's not unusual for me to learn my name is used inside households as an example of sobriety being possible, or that someone loves to follow my journey and is genuinely motivated and inspired by it.

It feels so cool to know I'm fulfilling what I deeply feel to be my purpose. Yet, it still rocks me because they are often the most random people and it feels pretty surreal being "known" by those I'd never expected to be interested in the stuff I do.

I find accepting compliments awkward - thank them, and change the subject.

But the thing I finder harder is when people compare themselves to me, or feel they have to justify their situation.

Stopping drinking has attracted a lot of conversations with people working out their relationship with alcohol. Whilst we chat, they switch between not having a problem to knowing they have one and back again, or from it not being a big deal to it being the root of every issue in their life.

My response is always a variation of the same sentiment, 'everyone is on their own journey, you have to own it.'

Life is hard enough right now. So whatever your journey may be. Own it.

You have to trust yourself. Deeply.

You'll not change by beating yourself up. Love yourself, truly, go on that journey of self-discovery and healing, which will never actually be over, but then see how your whole life changes around you as you work on what's within.

I just want to be my authentic self, and be an example that you can achieve amazing things when you take accountability for your thoughts, your choices and your actions.

At the start of 2025, Steph (my podcast partner) and I, announced changes to our platform's offer. Steph was increasing her airtime, I was reducing mine, we were shelving our monthly community club, we were taking a more business approach with the resources.

What with working 3 paid roles, the unpaid role of building A Different Human Design and A Different Podcast, plus converting my bus every weekend, my time was spent up, and I had more ideas, more things I wanted to explore.

I love writing; I used to write for a local newspaper, I've published books, poetry is a passion, yet I didn't have time to write, to craft, whether it be for publication or purely fun.

Reducing my airtime was to allow me opportunity to build a blog on our webpage. And this is how it's going.

5 months. 2 blogs.

(I was also aiming to complete one page of a beautiful mandala colouring book each full moon whilst I reflected on the cycle gone. We're almost upon our 5th full moon. I've done 1 colouring.)

But, in February, during my operation recovery period (which turned out to be much shorter than I anticipated, allowing me to get back to work more quickly) I revamped the A Different Human Design website. Having made the tough decision to shut down our in-person community get together, I wanted to make sure our signposting page included lots of options for socialising, exercising and connecting. So I included all the initiatives I could think of that I networked with and have personally benefited from - these are safe spaces and places to seek all kinds of support.

We'd changed the podcast schedule, so that needed updating amongst other things too.

Completing this digital renovation task was a huge dopamine hit! Plus one reason a blog didn't get written in February.

The majority of my time this year, however, has been spent on the other thing I'm becoming known for: if not sobriety, it's converting my bus.

I have spent years, days, hours and hours, methodically working my way through lists of jobs after lists of jobs. And since 2025 began, the bus has transformed into a very almost finished piece.

Woah.

What a piece it is.

And what a project it has been.

The conversion chapters are on the verge of being closed. (Eeeek!)

March and April has been solid work on one thing or another until gone 11pm most nights, completing whole areas of painting, decoupage and a host of ongoing finishing tasks.

In just a few months though, the difference downstairs is huge. It's very satisfying and deeply surreal.

This beautiful creation has been born into reality from my mind; an idea and then a whole load of consistency, both in mental thought and physical action.

The next steps will be getting on the road! And writing more blogs, maybe.

May is my favourite month.

I'm in great spirits if not a little light headed because I've got so much going on, although I'm not complaining I just keep making lists and that's keeping me afloat.

It's my birthday month, yaay.

And it's also mental health awareness month which is a content creator's dream to have a theme that's consistent with your topic of interest. (Check back at the end of May - how much content did I create, then, huh?)

Although, I had a realisation whilst mulling over "mental health." Here I was thinking, I could talk about how we all have it, whether that be good or bad mental health. And then it hit me, my mental health has been consistently good for ages. I feel the best I've ever felt but also this is the longest period of being this happy, balanced, calm and content that I can ever remember.

It blew my mind.

Like, I was aware I feel great. I just hadn't considered that it's been this way for 6 months, and the year before I had no major episodes either so that's around eighteen months of stability.

How cool is that?

So then I got thinking about why my mental health is so good now and started to realise how simple some of the reasons are - yet how unobtainable or difficult they might be for people too. Our "way of living" does not support us in looking after our minds, and it's ridiculous.

I have dedicated, I'd say, the last 6 years or so to understanding my own mind. So my mental health being where it's at now, is the result of longterm focus and effort.

The best thing I did was work on my internal dialogue, my compassion towards myself, my paradigms (the rules and belief system I was living by.)

The other best things I did was stop drinking and quit nicotine. Honestly. It has been that good of an impact.

And another best, I ended a relationship and became me again, but like a levelled up, spiritual, witchy, proud and awesome version of me.

I think by working on my thoughts, the internal workings of my mind, this became the foundations for all the other changes and developments I then went on to make.

So if there's one message I'd want this blog to share, it is: never underestimate the importance of your thoughts and not just the ones you're conscious of! Maybe more importantly are the ones you're not conscious of. They're the ones that sabotage your efforts. So start to become aware of how you've been programmed.

I am now offering self-discovery and mentoring services so if you need a little direction on where to start with this, you can book in with me on our services page.

In the meantime, here are the other things I have found drastically improved my mental health:

Fires. My log burner has altered me. Having a regular fire is what balanced me right out, I'm sure.

I'm going to get a fire pit for when I'm outdoors.

Healing baths. Think pink himalayan salt, crystals, essential oils, candles and music. (I've not had a bath since last year but the fires kind of swapped in for this.)

Spend time alone. Seriously. I feel like it's been good for me. I love doing things with myself whether that's going for food, to the gym or just hanging out at home. I know many people won't have this pleasure of being alone so accessibly, but you should try and take some time-out, even if it's 30 minutes, once a week.

Eat minimal highly processed foods and include a variety of fruit and veg.

Exercise - try out new things and mix up the ways you exercise to keep it interesting.

Get outdoors. Visit the woods, listen to the birds, walk by a river, sit by a pond.

Challenge yourself! Whether it's through fitness or going somewhere new, it's good to push yourself out your comfort zone and experience new things.

Work towards goals that mean a lot to you.

Give yourself a sense of purpose and accomplishment by setting regular aims to reach for.

Reflecting on my own journey, I find it had to believe I've become this person. I was the most impatient, impulsive, dopamine-seeker - I wanted results yesterday, I had no interest in a steady approach.

Yet, here I am with solid mental health and living my dream of converting a bus.

I am the sign you've been waiting for. You can do anything you want to because you're in charge. Your decisions, your choices, all of them create how your life looks - and you can take your pick where to make a change.

I hope you've enjoyed catching up with me and have gained something from this month's blog!

Don't hesitate to get in touch if you have questions, suggestions or would like to work with me.

Stay tuned for updates as BUS DIFFERENT is officially launched.